My horoscope today reads:
Don't get so caught up in giving that you cut yourself from your own feelings. The problem is that self-sacrifice can be gratifying in so many ways - so much that you risk making it an unhealthy habit.

It has put down my thoughts nicely into words. I couldn't have phrased it better. I think i'm too engrossed in giving to the point that I do not spare a thought for myself. I always have to take initiative to plan outings and meeting the girls. All these have strained all my energy and I'm tired of doing it all the time. Why can't you all take the first step and why bother asking me if you all know I couldn't go! I'm fed-up that you all do not take much notice of me, not even the days or time which i have my lessons. I seriously think they don't care, they're so self-centred. I must stop initiating things.
That also explains my dream a few days ago where i find myself in a familiar place with very familiar people but with no one to care for me. I even cried in my dream. In the end i had to walk out of that place alone - dejected.
It's time I learn to be independant and not to put too high hopes on my friends. I can only do so much for them and not wanting anything in return but I'll stop from now. Live for myself. So what if my hp doesn't ring for many days & there's no concerned smses. I quit.