I'm going to be really frank here since we've known each other for almost 12 years now. Though not really close to them, I have always envied that close-knitted group of our primary school classmates. Today's a last minute meeting put together by Jiayan and although there are seven attendees, it was fun!

Victoria and Jiayan arrived on the dot and I was 20 mins late. Thought I would be the latest but HongXiang apparently thought the same when he came :) hahax... It was funny... So many years passed and I think nothing changed much except that we walked different paths these 9 years after primary school. And we're all suddenly considered old already. ZhiHan is interning at a law firm and my god, the way he dresses I couldn't see a student in him at all. At least I can say primary school guys are much more matured than those in sec or jc and they do have a plan for their life. It's happy seeing all of them so successful. Jonathan and HongXiang starting business in SMU in July. And Jiayan is still doing her medicine course. Victoria is going to BKK to learn french pasteries after coming back from Melbourne and graduating from her course.

It's good to be studying cause it's not a good time to go work now. I haven't got any replies. Haix...

Alright back to our gathering... ZhiHan left first and he was so diplomatic shaking hands with Victoria wishing her a good trip and the tap on my shoulder showed I was not invisible! Hahax... I thought I would be at the background at all gatherings because I don;t really know how to communicate with friends other than those really close ones. Because you have to bare your heart to close friends and it's tiring to do it to all friends plus there'll not be close friends if you were to do it to all friends. I can;t help but feel stiff and stifled at all gatherings. People tend to stare at each other or sharing the good old days or simply crap. There's no meaning to such gatherings ( I say it even though I'm almost always the planner of such gatherings), it's just good knowing how everyone else is doing and refresh memories that you are still friends.
We then left for basement and then seperated while I went shopping at Taka and Wisma with Victoria. They were talking about mambo tonight but I don't feel comfortable enough to dance outside my normal clubbing clique.

I now understand why my bdae theme's masquerade. I think there's a mask on everyone unless you get to know them better and I am always the one outside that circle I try very hard to get in. And I think I'm the one hiding under layers and layers of mask I'm unable or not wanting to peel off and I don't know why... So I've not met my confort zone outside home and I;m uncomfortable in my masks and own skin while outside... How ironic...